Building Strength pt.5

Strength in Action

Today’s lesson is entirely from the book, in Shane’s words.

I tried writing it out myself but he says it better than I ever could. I don’t want to give you a worse piece of writing to fuel my ego. Here you go…

Suppose you know from experience that you’re susceptible to social pressure. On numerous occasions, for instance, you’ve been cajoled into buying things you didn’t want from pushy salespeople, and you've agreed to take on jobs you didn’t have the bandwidth for by pushy colleagues. You don’t trust yourself to do better in the future using sheer willpower alone. 

To protect yourself from the influence of the social default, you decide to implement a safeguard. You form a rule for yourself: never say yes to something important without thinking it over for a day. 

Practicing this safeguard isn’t very enjoyable. Putting someone on hold for a day might be uncomfortable in the moment, but the long-term results of implementing this safeguard are worth it. As simple as they seem, automatic rules for common situations get results. We’ll explore automatic rules in the next chapter. 

Implementing this plan illustrates all four of the strengths I’ve mentioned. Knowing your vulnerability to social pressure and the limits of your power to resist it requires self-knowledge. Deciding to do something about this vulnerability to secure better outcomes involves self-confidence. Following the rule you’ve made for yourself takes self-accountability. And overcoming short-term discomfort in ordinary moments for long-term gain displays self-control. 

All four of these strengths are necessary for resisting the influence of the social default. Once you have them all working together, you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish. Now, let’s take a look at how to build those strengths.

*Rules create rituals that have inertia–and in this way the rule uses the very aspect of human nature that gets us in trouble for good.” (72-73)

One rule I’ve implemented in my life that I’ve found useful is whenever I feel any social pressure to drink alcohol, I say “I don’t drink”. Then I stop getting pressured and I can make the decision for myself. Plus, if later I do decide I want to drink, nobody cares because they’re already drunk.

Brains Gains

What rules could you implement in your life to take control of common situations?

Have a great day. Try to look around for times when you’re doing things you don’t want to do. Even if it’s small. Ask why you’re doing it.

Your friend,

Noah “BigNerd” Sochaczevski