Do You Want What Matters?
Do you even know what you want?
There are only two steps to getting what you want in life:
Knowing what you want
Getting it
We focus a lot on the second part, but it’s pretty useless without the first. We end up knowing how to make the right decisions but use our thinking skills go chase a goal not worth chasing. There are tons of super competent people who work their butts off chasing a life they think they want, only to get there and realize they were chasing the wrong thing.
Too many people are ‘happy-when’ people…
“those who think they’ll be happy when something happens… Happy-when people are never actually happy. The moment they get what they think they want–the ‘when’ part of the conditional–having that thing becomes the new norm, and they automatically want more. It’s as if they’ve walked through a one-way door that closes behind them. Once the door closes, they lose perspective. They can’t see where they’ve been, only where they are.” (Parrish, 227)
We chase praise from people we wouldn’t ask for advice. We take for granted the people who would care for us if we had nothing. We let other people’s definitions of success become our own. We assume other people know better and have their life together. They don’t. We’re all just figuring it out as we go. So let’s stop looking to other people to figure out what we want.
When you find what you want it needs no explanation. You don’t need to justify it to other people. Other people probably won’t really get it and that’s okay.
As we close out 2023, we’ve arrived at the final section of Clear Thinking, Wanting What Matters. I think it’s appropriate so we can set ourselves up with better 2024 habits and goals.
I don’t claim to be an expert on this; I’m only 23 years old. I’m merely sharing what I’ve learned from Clear Thinking, which is everything Shane Parrish has learned from hundreds of interviews with successful people across all industries and walks of life.
Question of The Day
What do you want in life? What’s your north star?
Now go do something nice for a stranger and have a great day!
Your Friend,
Noah “BigNerd” Sochaczevski
PS. We start our next book, Letters From a Stoic on January 2nd! You can buy it here to follow along with your daily emails.