Don't be Like Them
be like THEM instead
“The right thing is to shun both course: you should neither become like the bad because they are many, nor be an enemy of the many because they are unlike you. Retire into yourself as much as you can. Associate with people who are likely to improve you.” (Seneca, Letter VII)
Seneca spends time before this writing about the inability of humans to spend time in a large group without becoming worsened by the experience.
Seneca says to avoid becoming like the masses. He also says not be mean to the masses. The second is an idea he talks about repeatedly in his letters. He’s against any judgment of superiority in a person’s life as a philosopher. Especially that a philosopher should not make himself appear on the outside so different from society.
And the most interesting part of this line is the end – “Associate with people who are likely to improve you”. If we can’t escape becoming like the people around us, we may as well use it to our advantage! Find people you can learn from and spend time with them.
I don’t necessarily mean people with deep expertise in a topic that they can teach you as a student. I mean people with a trait, skill or value you admire that shows in their actions. I’ll give you a negative example and then a positive example.
Negative example - When I look back at the year after I quit basketball, I didn’t work out much at all. Then, the next year I worked out six times a week. That period of not working out was the only time since I was a kid that the people I spent the most time with weren’t athletes. I imitated the people around me and lost a habit I enjoyed.
Positive Example - I have a friend I don’t get to see too often who really sucks the most out of his days. He is so in the present and treats everyday like it could be his last. We spent just 3 days together recently and in that time I learned from him. I have internalized his enthusiasm without his ever explicitly “teaching” me anything at all. I absorbed his goodness by being around him.
Today, we learned:
Avoid becoming like the random masses of people around you
Do not be rude to those same people you avoid
Choose to spend time with people who can improve you in some way
Question of The Day
What have I subconsciously adopted from the random people around me?
Go have a great day. Remember, you might die tomorrow 😁 and it’d be a shame if your last day wasn’t awesome
Your Friend,
Noah “Big Nerd” Sochaczevski
I am such a big believer in this. Good post!