How To Make Friends
Be a Friend First
“No one can lead a happy life if he thinks only of himself and turns everything to his own purposes. You should live for the other person if you wish to live for yourself.” (Seneca’s Letters To Lucilius, XLVIII)
Why do you make friends?
Are you looking to gain an asset or to become an asset? If you’re always looking for a friend so you can “get” something from them, you’re missing the point.
The point of friendship is to make yourself an asset. To continually give first until you get burned. When you want to make new friends, you should give first.
Give them your time, your attention, a gift, or any favor. See how they react. Are they gracious? Do they give something back in return? It doesn’t matter what they give back as long as it is a sign of good character.
The point of this exchange is not to walk away with something of equal or greater value than you gave. The point is to show a mutual desire to help the other person.
Friendship is what binds people together. If something is of interest to my friend’s life, it is of interest to mine. Otherwise, we are not friends.
Friendship creates a community of interest between us in everything.” (Seneca’s Letters To Lucilius, XLVIII)
And what if you keep giving to a friend who never repays the favor? What if you are concerned with their life and they are not concerned with yours?
Move on. You know the way to make friends now. There is an abundance of people to choose from. The only obstacle now is your own pride.
Question of The Day
What makes somebody a friend to you?
Your Friend,
Noah “BigNerd” Sochaczevski