If You Wish To Be Loved...

Love

Dr. Robert Cialdini is considered the godfather of “persuasion science” but Seneca beat him to at least one of his big ideas. Cialdini famously identified seven persuasion principles - ways people change someone else’s behavior.  One of them is called “liking”.

You might be saying, “duh, of course if someone I like asks me to do something I’m more likely to do it that if someone I don’t like asks”

But that’s a common misunderstanding. It’s not about whether or not YOU like THEM. It’s about whether or not THEY like YOU. It’s confused often because we also usually like people who like us. Seneca said,

“If you wish to be loved, love” (Seneca, letter IX)

When I first read this line, I questioned it. Then I quickly came up with many examples to back this up. The one that I thought of straight away was my grandmother.

She is the most loved person I know. Everybody who meets her loves her, even my friends who only meet her briefly. There are so many reasons, but I think the biggest is that she loves so much. She loves people and they love her back. 

I’ve even joked with my siblings that if I ever committed a heinous crime, she’s the first person I would go to. She’d still tell me I’m a sweet boy and that the other person probably deserved it.

I would never think to say, “I love her because she loves me”. But I imagine deep down that’s part of why I love anybody. 

So if you ever feel alone. If you ever feel unloved. Remember to take the first step. Your first step is to love and show love to others. The more love you give, the more love you get. 

Question of The Day 

Not a question. Just go tell someone you love them. Your mom, your friend, your SO, your sibling… somebody you love. Just tell them. 

Your Friend,

Noah “BigNerd” Sochaczevski