The Golden Rule is Worse Than You Thought

Not everybody wants to be treated the same way

The silver rule is better than the golden rule. 

Golden rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated

Silver rule: Don’t treat others how you would not want them to treat you 

We know with much more certainty what people don’t want than what they do want. We know what’s bad better than we know what’s good. 

We don’t all want to be treated the same way. That means if I treat you the way I want to be treated, I’m probably not treating you the way you want to be treated. Especially across cultural lines, the golden rule falls apart. It’s not robust.

The ways we do not want to be treated are more universal. Nobody wants to be silenced or ignored. Nobody wants to be offered the smaller “half” when you split something.

We also know more intuitively what we ourselves don’t want than what we do want. It’s a quirk of human nature. The difference may seem small, but the silver rule is much more robust. 

Don’t do unto others as you would not want done to yourself. 

Question of The Day 

How do you not want to be treated? 

Your Friend,

Noah “BigNerd” Sochaczevski

PS. If you liked this short format of just a quick idea applicable to your life, please like the piece on Substack or reply to the email and let me know directly. I want you guys to get as much value from the book club as possible. Getting your feedback helps me help you :)