The Hidden Virus
You Might Already Have It
Bad habits are like viruses.
The more time between when it’s born and when you feel its consequences, the more deadly it is.
When you eat one chocolate bar, there’s no consequence. When you skip the gym once, there’s no consequence. When you’re defensive towards people giving you feedback once there’s no consequence. Unless you let it become a habit.
A few months later, you find yourself unhealthy, out of shape and never getting any feedback from anyone. Your bad habits crept up on you slowly. If you had seen the effects sooner, you would have had a better chance of quitting before it became a habit.
Imagine if you eat a certain food and it makes you sick. You feel the negative consequences right away and then you avoid that food. At worst you try it one more time before you quit it. The short time between action and consequence stops you from making it a habit.
“The formula for failure is a few small errors consistently repeated… while good choices repeated make time your friend, bad ones make it your enemy.” (Clear Thinking, 94)
Finding our Bad Habits
The problem with bad habits is that we don’t usually realize them. There are three reasons we have trouble seeing our own weaknesses.
They’re part of who we are
It hurts our self-image to see weakness
We don’t see the full picture
With so many barriers to seeing our own weaknesses, we should consider it a small blessing when people around us help point them out to us. I forget where I heard this, but it’s a great small tweak with huge rewards.
Anytime someone gives you feedback, no matter how harshly worded, thank them right away. Look them in the eyes and say “thank you for the feedback, I appreciate it. I want to get better.” You don’t need to take their feedback, but by thanking people, you’re increasing the chances they give you more feedback which is decreasing your blind spots. Even if 90% of the feedback is useless, that other 10% could reveal a weakness you never knew you had. And once you know about it, you can manage it. Be grateful for the people in your life who care enough to give you feedback.
Another way to decrease blind spots is to step into other people’s shoes. Take the perspective of your family members, your teammates or your superiors. Try to see your actions through their eyes.
“There is a gap in our thinking that comes from believing that the way we see the world is the way the world really works.” (Clear Thinking, 100)
Bad habits make us worse overtime. We can’t manage them until we know they exist. Use the people around you for help by asking questions and looking at your actions from their perspective.
Brains Gains
Who’s the person closest to you? Step into their shoes and ask what your biggest weakness is.
Now go start the week on a high note. Crush today to crush the whole week.
Your Friend,
Noah “BigNerd” Sochaczevski
PS. I want to make the BigNerds as enjoyable and educational as possible for everybody. But I’m still a newbie. Please reach out to my by replying to this email or however else you like, and let me know what you like, don’t like etc about the BNBC. I’m very grateful for your advice.