Was Tupac A Philosopher?

On Dropping People

I was sitting back on my couch and my mind was racing. He did it again. I told him I was finally putting my foot down. I said “if you keep f***ing around, we can’t be friends anymore.” And then he did it…

Friends for almost a decade. No more. 

I realized that the issue I had with his behavior would never change. Even if it could, I could never help him change. People are the way they are. To hold onto a relationship because I believe he’ll become someone else in the future is a terrible bet. 

Even 2000 years ago, it was a bad bet! Marcus says,

“You can hold your breath until you turn blue, but they’ll still go on doing it.” (8.4)

This reminds me of when I was an “Interview Coach” in college and I would do mock interviews with younger students (which is kind of funny cause I could never get myself an interview). When I asked students what their biggest weakness was I would get the answer “I’m a perfectionist” or “I work too hard” or “I have high standards” and other semi-weaknesses. I always responded with the same statement and question. 

“That’s a bad weakness…

How many people do you know who used to be perfectionists and now they aren’t? “

None. 

Because people do change. But it takes too long for people to notice. Maybe your girlfriend or your brother notices but that’s about it.

All of which is to say - don’t wait around for people to change. Any change that does happen takes years and/or a serious rock bottom moment. 

You don’t need to feel any disdain. It doesn’t need to be dramatic. You can even wish them all the best and cheer them on. It’s like Tupac said, 

“Just because you lost me as a friend, doesn't mean you gained me as an enemy. I'm bigger than that, I still wanna see you eat, just not at my table.” 

Brains gains 

Who in your life do you keep excusing? Would you still keep them around if you knew they would never change? 

Go live a day you’re proud of. When your head hits the pillow, give yourself a mental pat on the back. Spend the whole day making sure you deserve that pat on the back.

I’m rooting for you,

Noah “BigNerd” Sochaczevski

PS. What did you say was your “biggest weakness” when you interviewed? Press the button below to answer. 

PPS. Today, November 15 Reading: Pages 103-110