Why "Wanting" is a Trap

let me explain...

The more you want the less you have. You need to learn to be happy with what you have and choose your desires carefully. If you aren’t careful deciding what you want, you might soon want everything. And it’s at that point that you will start to feel that you have nothing.

“…before men’s greed broke society up — and impoverished even those she had brought most riches; for people cease to possess everything as soon as they want everything for themselves” (Seneca’s Letters to Lucilius, XC)

Our realities are shaped by our desires. We compare what we have and what we want. I remember hearing a clip from Chris Williamson and James Smith talking about the happiness that comes from wins. We imagine that the bigger the win, the happier we feel. But in reality, it’s about the size of the win compared to the desired outcome.

For example, I started posting on Instagram not too long ago to promote the book club. For a while I was getting no more than 200-300 views on my videos. Suddenly, I get 500. I was ecstatic!

Soon after, I had a video break 1000 views! I couldn’t believe it. I was yelling around my house, “I’m viral baby!” Now when my videos get 500 views I feel neutral, if not slightly disappointed. Even when I get 1000 again, I’m not as happy as I was.

I moved the bar of outcomes that would make me happy. We do the same in life. As a child, you want 10 bucks to go buy toys. You get the money and your smile shines from ear to ear. Now, you get ten bucks and it’s nice, but it’s not memorable.

But this is all in our own minds. This is why it’s important to be aware of our desires and to choose them carefully. It’s easier to let our minds run wild and every day set the bar higher and higher. That sounds very “hustle” and “grind” and it is, but it’s also a recipe for unhappiness.

Eventually, you’ll raise the bar so high that 99% of things fall below it. Most things will stop making you happy.

What does that mean for you today?

Keep the bar low.

• Just because something happens once, don’t expect it again.

• Keep your eyes out of other people’s pockets.

• Pick just 1-2 things you really want. Appreciate all the rest.

Question of the Day

What do you want?

Your Biggest Fan,

Noah “BigNerd” Sochaczevski